Posts Tagged ‘wiitwd’
There is lots of discussion, emotion and crap surrounding contracts in relationships. There is a long history of having pre-nuptial agreements, more recently post-nuptial agreements, and in WIITWD contracts. I have always been opposed to having contracts as I don’t want My relationships defined by a piece of paper and I don’t find contracts organic. Read the rest of this entry »
In the continuing personal development series, last week I blogged about the importance of high-performance communication. This week I am going to discuss the second key to extraordinary relationships; knowing the 5 stages of a relationship. This article says that there are 5 stages: attraction, power struggle, cooperation, synergy, and completion.
I am going to focus on two of these stages . . . predictably I have something to say about the power struggle. D/s relationships are typically about power exchange. It might seem that this stage is easier for D/s relationship. I think it is merely different. We still negotiate/compromise on how much power is exchanged at any given time. Not all s-types give up the same amount and it can change over time; and not all d-types are willing to accept the same amount of power all the time. The real difference in a D/s relationship is that this is done consciously, with purpose, and intentionally. Because of this, there is another type of power struggle that D/s relationships have . . . namely, an internal one. All parties involved are conscious of the power exchange, which means that we are monitoring ourselves and the power exchange. As we grow in a relationship this may become more fluid and natural; but in the beginning of any relationship we are testing this to see if it meets our needs.
As for completion, one idea mentioned is transitions. I really like this. We tend to think that successful relationships are “until death do us part”. I find that standard unrealistic and confining. While it may have “worked” when life expectancy was shorter and societal pressure to stay together was greater; it is certainly not the ONLY model for success. We have other expectations for our relationships today . . . happiness, growth, fulfillment, etc. It is OK for a relationship to have a time span and end. Did you learn and grow? Did your partner learn and grow?
In doing research for this blog I also came across four ingredients in a good relationship: feeling accepted, feeling as though your partner has influence over you, not telling your partner something they already know, and keeping judgment about the other person’s issues/problems to a minimum. Seems like a reasonable list!
This is the second part of My interview with Dr. Dick. What fun to make a man who talks about sex all day long – BLUSH!
As if two blogs weren’t enough; Dr. Dick has posted it on his two sites Dr. Dick’s Sex Advice and sex advice with an edge ; as well as on his regular spot on Carnal Nation.
Find out which recipe on My website Dr. Dick has tried, more about My life as a FemDom, and about the physical and mental aspects of D/s relationships.
The High Protocol group on Fetlife started a new REAL-time group: PLEASE. This group had its first event last weekend. Hosted by Lady HotchKiss with an erotic reading, cigars and brandy, and some GREAT (if I don’t say so myself) food!
Mom was in attendance and was able to meet My friends and ask questions about living in the “lifestyle”. What she learned was that we are essentially normal people with nonmainstream interests; that she would LOVE to be friends with Ms. Martha; that My friends were warm, outgoing, willing to discuss, and highly educated about who they are and what they want.
Nikita The Writer read two passages from her book “Tales From the Whipping Post” and one passage from Wolffie’s book. Nikita’s stories are a blend of naivete, charm, and raunch; just like the author. Wolffie’s excerpt was expertly written, melodic, forceful, and a he has quite a unique voice. As if that is not enough, English is his second language!
The GREAT food included Vodka Ginger Lemonade, brownies, and pistachio white-chocolate cookies (recipe still being hunted down).
There were a variety of cigars being smoked. I had the opportunity to try an Alec Bradley Tempus Creo and LOVED it. The spicy (peppery) flavor was OUTSTANDING; even if sled thought it was TOO much. Thank you RUMZ for sharing your treasure.
Since it was a “House” Warming I also got a variety of gifts: from Courvoisier to Dom Perignon to a steel reinforced leather paddle. Nothing like a BDSM “Warming” gift!
Thank you all for such a wonderful evening.
Recently, I completed a unique and compelling interview about My life with Dr. Dick. What fun to make a man who talks about sex all day long – BLUSH!
As if two blogs weren’t enough; Dr. Dick has posted it on his two sites Dr. Dick’s Sex Advice and sex advice with an edge ; as well as on his regular spot on Carnal Nation.
Find out which recipe on My website Dr. Dick has tried, more about My life as a FemDom, and about the physical and mental aspects of D/s relationships.
And I MIGHT have to punish him a little for leaving all My “UHM”s in the podcast! Holy Cow.
Earlier this week was My One Year Anniversary with boy! It has truly been a year of growing together. Two private and reserved people getting to know each other doesn’t happen overnight!
Some memorable moments have happened. boy being threatened multiple times by other male subs that are interested in Me; needless to say they are NOT part of My life. boy being shot – not related to U/us; THANK YOU! boy telling a family member that I am his Mistress and to call Me in case something happens. boy’s first release without masturbation in a few years – that day with the strap-on was UNREAL! Our first kiss outside Atlanta Leather Company! boy presenting Me with his slave registry after I became his Owner. boy being the better backgammon player – annoying, but true. AND, all the “user” (that would be Me) errors!
Yes, there are still many things to grow into . . . simply knowing each other better, taking my first ride on the back of boy’s new motorcycle – being his bitch, perhaps one day having boy collared, winding our way through poly, and more . . .
The BEST gift boy has ever given was when he told me that I would be his last Mistress. What an awesome responsibility, promise, and gift. I truly enjoy having boy as part of My life.
Had lunch yesterday with two FemDom friends: Domina Dea and Nikita the Writer. Of course, lunch turned into an all day event – ending about 6!
We spent the afternoon catching, talking about what we are doing, some of our challenges, and how we can work together to support each other’s projects. Dea certainly has something exciting brewing; VERY much looking forward to it being successful, profitable, and making a unique mark in the BDSM world. Nikita is hard at work on another novel, doing interview for DungeonVox, and looking forward to many new projects . . . I, of course, am doing the same old things: websites, blogs, porn, and enjoying my new toys!
Recently, I have gotten a dragon tail, a quirt, and YESTERDAY I was gifted with a plug in hitachi! WOW; that was something to experience. Suffice it to say that I can no longer call Dea a tease and Nikita developed some new skills!
This is a well written, interesting, and engaging story similar to The MarketPlace series. It is about a group of slave trainees and their experiences together the first few months of their new lives as slaves. They learn lessons about themselves and others; grow as people and slaves; and come to understand their role and place. Many of the lessons are not easy; many are unexpected; and ALL are enjoyable for the reader.
I particularly enjoyed that the lessons learned were insightful, about themselves, and poignant. It shows the mind of the author; she is no novice to BDSM, she is no flash in the pan, she is truly a writer with time spent at “play” and living in the mind of Dominants and slaves.
There are plenty of stories for her to tell in more erotic novels; I hope she does so. I will be waiting for future releases from this author.
By: Shannon Reilly
AuthorsDen: http://www.authorsden.com/shannonreilly
Amazon Profile: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002BLUINK
Recently went to lunch with a female slave. This is the first time we have had an opportunity to spend any real time together. she has been in her first M/s relationship and not really available to make Dom friends. That relationship ended and she is finding support in the community in unexpected places.
- she was taught many protocols; she was not taught that protocols are relationship specific.
- she was taught about slavery; she was not taught that slavery comes in many forms.
- she was taught that the Dom comes first; she was not taught that her needs should be met as well.
- she was taught that play is a reward; she was not taught that other Dom’s believe different.
- she was taught that Dom’s are exacting: she was not taught that each Dom handles imperfection different.
I hope that she and I continue to build a friendship and that she finds happiness.
To all s-types:
- YOU deserve respect.
- YOU deserve to be happy.
Do not forget this; do not let anyone take these away from you.
How to be a slave? Be yourself, be who you are, be respected.
So much is being written now about HIV because of the news about a HIV+ female working in the porn industry.
For some this news hits MUCH closer to home. In fact, I have had countless friends disappear and die, and one of my current slaves is HIV+. Read the rest of this entry »