Today I write about the fourth key to Extraordinary Relationships in the Personal Development series: Practicing Radical Personal Responsibility.
Radical simply means uncommon in our culture. For some, it may be a paradigm shift in your thoughts about your relationships. YOU are the creator of YOUR experience, relationships, thoughts, beliefs, feelings, emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. Imagine what that really means; YOU have to take RESPONSIBILITY for ALL the things you do, ALL the things you participate in, HOW you participate, and what situations you ALLOW to exist in your life.
I can be something as small as realizing that conversation you are in is not really how you see your time best used; then excusing yourself from that conversation! Or something as profound as asking yourself about your familial relationships; is X a positive force in my life? What do you when the answer is, NO? Again, this is YOUR choice; but, take responsibility for it. MAKE a decision; don’t let something “happen”. That is a choice also; to be a victim in your own life.
The idea in the article is to have a pre-determined way of handling disagreements. This might be OK; depends on how complicated the “way” is! I have a few “rules’ for arguments: 1) I don’t think that people say things in anger they don’t mean; I think they say things they wish they hadn’t . . . so speak cautiously: 2) it is OK to postpone the conversation; but give Me a date and time when it will happen and then make sure it happens as we agreed: 3) assume that disagreements/discussions will happen, accept them as part of any relationship. I am sure there are more . . . please share your, via comments.
As an aside . . . I like the way concepts evolve. Paradigm shift was originally intended to describe a change in thinking in hard science; then it went to softer sciences, now it appears in discussions about relationships. Lol. Yes, I was a philosophy major and studied paradigm shifts as I am interested in science.
© 2009, Lady HotchKiss. All rights reserved.
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4 Responses to “Practicing Radical Personal Responsibility”
Wonderful post. I love discussions on the emerging realities of female led relationships. I am grateful for blogs such as yours, along with sites/blogs such as those run by Elise Sutton and Emily Addison that provide a forum for intelligent discussion on the topic.
nick –
I LOVE to participate in intelligent discussions. Like everyone, I have my own unique perspective . . . I am not only in a FLR; I am a Domme – both lifestyle and professional. If you have any questions please feel free to let me know . . .
The idea of personal responsibility is great, we should all strive to own all of our personal actions or conduct; in theory. Its very easy to talk about or write about, the concept/idea of taking personal responsibility. But its much different to actually put the idea of taking personal responsibility into action. Of course not all aspects of ones life would be difficult to implement this radical idea, while others would be very difficult. And the degree of difficulty would not only vary from aspect to aspect, but also from person to person.
For some individuals taking responsibility especially for relationships might be in conflict with how that individual perceives doing the honorable thing. This would be especially true dealing with family relationships, where they may well be personally toxic. But it might not be honorable or even possible, to simply hide behind the mantel of “taking personal responsibility” and say, this relationship is bad for me, I need to end it.
So while I agree in theory and even somewhat in practice, I don’t think all situations lend themselves to this concept.
Part of taking responsibility is balancing your needs against your obligations . . . and doing the right things . . . finding balance. Taking responsibiity does not mean being selfish; but being mature in your choices.