Having a new 24/7 D/s relationship has Me considering relationship communication quite frequently. The most recent issue of Personal Development has a spot-on article: “5 Keys to Extraordinary Relationships”.
It begins by talking about conscious and unconscious; perhaps I didn’t get EXACTLY what they wanted Me to. I do, however, have something to say (which will surprise NO ONE) . . . when I was married, we lived that relationship unconsciously; it didn’t work. My ex is still one of My best friends and we are MUCH better friends that we were spouses. Just lived our life together; never taking real time to examine what was happening or what we wanted. I am choosing to live My current relationships consciously.
The five keys discussed are: Communication, Stages, Design, Responsibility, and Evolution. This week I am going to discuss communication. I had to completely rework how I communicate . . . moving to the South, the industry I was in, and the man I worked for . . . Let’s say the DIRECT Northeastern/Midwestern talk didn’t fly! AT ALL. I learned there are subtleties to conversation in the South and ways to get your point across without hurting feelings or having people think you are a BITCH! Of course, it can take 10x as long to get your point across.
“High Performance Communication” is: honest, compassionate, direct, and honors the dignity of all involved. These are certainly things I strive for in all communication; but are especially important with everyone in My house (boy and sled). One thing that always surprises Me is how detailed a conversation needs to be before you get at the REAL issue(s). For instance, sled is a novice bootblack, but I could NEVER get him to bootblack My leather. After several conversations I was STILL getting nowhere on this . . . confusing to say the least. On the 5th (or so) conversation I finally began to understand . . . sled wants someone IN the shoes, boots, chaps; and I was trying to get him to bootblack when there was NO ONE in the leathers. Problem solved! I get a massage; while he bootblacks! Phew.
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[...] In the continuing personal development series, last week I blogged about the importance of high-performance communication. This week I am going to discuss the second key to extraordinary relationships; knowing the 5 [...]